"Dance as though no one is watching you
Love as though you've never been hurt before
Sing as though no one can hear you
Live as though heaven is on earth"


Designer: Rosedroplets,
Basecodes: %ABBEO-x.

Living with the obsession
Tuesday, April 28, 2009 @ 12:06 AM

I've a new collection to the unliving creatures on my bed. =) and i played the money sucking machine on my own just to get it.

Check out the blue stich.
Its a very addictive machine indeed!

Life has been so far so good, but i would say its my mood that sways alot.

I feel the stress frm sch, as there are projects every single week.
I feel the stress frm society, because i dont have enough money, which isnt a good thing, cos im in debt to people. and by people, i mean my mum, dad and laopo. who said u dont owe parents money, now the CPF board is chasing me for the poly sch fees which need to be returned to dad. SHUCKS.
Relationship has its worse turn, as i always feel inferior to others, always wondering if im well liked, or being dislike. it matters alot to me, it always has.
Mayb i just dont wanna be looked down upon. Mayb i wanna have an attribute that i can be proud of.
Mayb im just too defensive of myself still.
Or mayb, im just being sensitive.

There are times i feel like giving up, for the facts are there for me. Yet i cant question, for i dont wanna know. Curiosity kills.
Self console: its good, at least the good times can cover up. Just covering up.


Past 4 days, it was my grandma's death anniversary. How time flies, its been a year since i've lost that close loved one of mine. She lives closely in my heart. The times that i dreamt of her, the time when my auntie dreamt of grandma and me together. I know she is still living within us, in our hearts, in some of our hearts.
I think of grandma almost every single day, its just like how i see her every single day when she was still around.
This fact was something i need not announce to everyone, yet there are those who have to do so for themself. But in fact, its not convincing, not convincing at all.

Once in a while, i would look back at the many pictures i took of grandma. im so glad i did, and they are kept as my treasure. One of it was even used at her funeral, it just feels like a great thing to keep these pictures and being able to look at them.
Grandma's death brought out family back together, except of some whom i wouldnt need to spell it out. After all, im the younger generation in the family, i wouldn't wanna be called unfilial.

Its just misses and love for grandma.

This is a world of lies, isnt it? As one lies to you, and then you'll lie to yourself for helping that one cover up. its like a cycle, never ending.

Jealous jealous jealous, ignorant ignorant ignorant, contradicting, haappy yet sad.

HAHA! What an emotion.

What a post of rants. Its just whats going through my head, and as my fingers just move along typing these out, i come to realize, im still defending myself, my heart.